We’ve all heard that saying, “What others think about you is none of your business.” It highlights that time-honored obsession with the outside view of ourselves. What does the mirror show? What does my family think? What do my friends say? Better to develop a view from the inside out. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What drives and motivates you?
If what drives you is being good and worthy in the eyes of others, that might be a frustrating project. Most people have a hard time noticing their own thoughts running out of control. It’s very ambitious to think you can keep tabs on other’s people internal diatribes. Their thinking and feeling is determined by so much more than you anyway; even weather can change the way people perceive things. Plus, people’s thoughts and emotions change so frequently, your worry is probably outdated by now.
There is a high probability that you are already good and worthy of love. This is true even if someone hasn’t returned your text, or they look grumpy from across the table.
So, develop mental discipline. Train yourself to drop it. We spend so much time disciplining our appetites, disciplining our bodies at the gym, we will even wear high heels and Spanx for twelve hours straight, but when it comes to our thoughts, we let them run amok.
Practice taking your attention off worrisome or re-shaming thoughts, and onto something else, like your breath, or the sounds outside, or a positive affirmation like, “I am enough.” The practice of sitting meditation can help with this, as can yoga or tai chi. Or, Join Debak Chopra and Oprah in their free 21-day guided meditation program at http://bit.ly/1aNvUCf . This ongoing process of training your mind to shift off strains of anxious thought can free you up to enjoy the present moment.
Think on things that will enrich your view of life from the inside. Think on your strengths, your very good intentions, your blessings. There is a gift in every moment.