Midtown Sacramento Counselor

I’ve been doing an informal survey of my colleagues in the mental health field, asking them, “What are the things you think about when a client comes in feeling depressed?” All of them, without exception, mention exercise. It’s either their first or second thought.

Fontanillis Lake in the Desolation Wilderness

A study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine in 1999 found that participating in a regular aerobic exercise program increased the mood of people with depression as much as Zoloft, and as much as a combination of Zoloft and exercise as well. The follow-up study found that people in the exercise groups kept the depression at bay over time. That’s just one of a whole host of studies on exercise and depression, anxiety, recovery, self esteem, even parenting.  When you exercise, endorphins are released into the brain, and you get a happy feeling.  Regular exercise releases endorphins regularly, and you get, quite simply, happier overall.

The problem is sustainability.

People tend to think that every run has to be 3 miles, every hike up a mountain, every gym session an hour and a half. They set up impossible systems like waking at 5:00 AM, or lifting weights every day.  Most bodies can’t handle that and it causes quitting. I like the iphone apps called “Couch to 5K,” or “Ease into 5K.” The first run you do is 30 seconds!  They increase gradually from there, and after 9 weeks you get to 3 miles. A coach once told me, “if you train like this, you can accomplish anything,” and I tend to believe her. It’s doable because you can start where you are.

Everything counts. Walking, swimming, weeding, pillow fights, riding a bike, Kinnect, yoga, skiing, shooting hoops, dancing, picking the oranges, playing catch, hiking, running the dog, Zumba, Cross Fit, belly dancing, Frisbee, even vacuuming. It all works.

The solution? Motivate from the inside out

It’s wonderful to be inspired by others. It’s great to have exercise buddies. But judging your own body by another’s capabilities isn’t an effective mood lifter. Nor is looking for your motivation in the mirror because we tend to see only what we’re not. Compare and despair. Instead, try this: remember a time when you felt fit, energetic, and engaged in the world. Close your eyes and rest with that feeling in your mind and body until it feels familiar. Then, as you exercise, see if you can contact that feeling again. Recognize it. Name it. Notice it every time you exercise. This is your very own feeling of well-being, made by you, just for you. With this as your motivation, you can find it anywhere,  even in this moment now.

Check out the research yourself: http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Exercise-and-Depression-report-excerpt.htm

It’s wonderful to have dreams, and exciting to hold a vision of a better you.  It’s like finally admitting your potential, your brilliance.  Of course you could lose 20 pounds, have more friends, be more productive, run a marathon.  These are all fine goals.  But, are they meaningful? If you are like most people, what you resolved on New Year’s Day, tends to move to the back of your mind in February, becoming yet another thing that didn’t get done.  It just doesn’t seem important anymore.

Well, maybe it isn’t.

As a grief counselor I hear a lot about unmet goals, about men who always wanted to sail, but didn’t have time, or widows who were going to travel with their husbands, but couldn’t get to it, or children who never got to graduate.

Interestingly, however, if you allow people time to talk about their loved ones, you will usually hear some beautiful stories of lives lived well.  Grieving people don’t talk much about the time their sister lost 20 pounds, or the day their son ran the marathon.  It’s more likely to be some story about a great scrabble game, or an impromptu drive down the river road, how they laughed as kids at the dinner table, how happy he was on a mountain, or that time they stayed in bed until 2:00 making love and eating toast. What seems to be most memorable about a person isn’t what they achieved, but how they lived.

So if the journey really is the goal, or if, as Robert Louis Stevenson said, “…to travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive,” then what do we do on New Year’s Day?

Resolve to pay attention to your life.  Rather than focusing on the end result of all this, focus on what you are doing now.  Then do it more, and fuller, and richer.  Be a more engaged lover.  Eat the food you really enjoy.  Swap a treadmill for some trees.  Speak eye-to-eye.  Allow yourself to feel athletic again.  Spend more time with people you can laugh with.  Play the piano.

Rather than reaching for goals, reach for what’s already here. It may turn out that what’s most important about your life is happening in this moment now.

Joyous New Year to you.